ACE's and Recovery...
At a young age, I was exposed to violence at home and in the neighborhood. To escape, I turned to substance. I did it to ease up the anger and sorrow I was feeling at the time. Yousee, it all started when I was ten or eleven years old. A couple of uncles got killed, and authorities didn’t do anything about it, which back then was common practice. But that changed how I would see people and things in life. It changed me into a more reserved and cautious person.
These events made me look at life in a different way. My childhood changed dramatically in a way that I lost respect for people and authority. I was mad at people and at life in general. I was not caring for anything or anyone.
I decided to go with life without regarding law or rules. I did what I needed to do to go forward. With my negative thinking and wrongdoings, no one really cares.
My actions went all bad. I started with dropping out of school, trying different things, drinking, drugs, jails, streets. I didn’t give up on life. I just didn’t care about me or my own life. I was so wrong for even giving a thought. Now, I’m in prison for my past doings, have destroyed a lot of relationships, and lost many precious moments with families.
Now I understand that the trauma I was exposed to at a young age set up the unhealthy beliefs. It’s wrong to blame everyone for one person’s doings. I have to shape a new frame of thinking with better choices, adapting to the actual norms of society. I have come to terms that my ways were wrong even though it seemed normal at the time. I have to move on with a more productive way of thinking, breaking the antisocial barriers.